I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Randomize
