I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
