My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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