so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You ruined the universe
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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