I haven't been this sober since birth.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
