Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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