That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
