I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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