dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
