I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
