I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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