they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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