Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Randomize
