theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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