True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
