all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
