I wannas sexs uuuuu
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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