I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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