you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
