But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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