Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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