i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
