We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
