You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
