I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
