so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
