You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
