Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
