Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
