Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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