At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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