i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
