This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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