and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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