is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
