one word: firstdatebathroomanal
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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