Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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