mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
