My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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