Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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