So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
last night I used snow as a chaser
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