tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
