i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
