I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
NoShamevember. You game?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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