the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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