Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
