It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
