We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
