if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
