Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
