Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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