white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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