yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
